Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Time Machine (2002) Dir. Simon Wells

This movie was actually OK> If it was a video game I would play it. If you don't want the sci-fi adventure The Time Machine from 2002 spoiled for you, DO NOT read on. Repeat, if you do not want this movie ruined for you and were planning on some special day in the future of watching The Time Machine say during a marriage proposal or the birth of your child Spoilers are included.

American Werewolf in Paris Orcs, blow darts, a moon torn asunder and Guy Pierce in a "Basin of Gore" are just a few of the surprises that await you during this 96 minute adventure ride. Guy Pierce tries to prevent the death of his love by traveling back in time. Instead of getting shot, she gets hit by a carriage. I actually laughed out loud at that. So he looks for answers in the future... and fucks that up too. He arrives in the future to find that our colonization of the moon has destroyed it (as he gets further on in the future, they show the moon pulled more and more apart). The A.W.i.P. orcs are hilarious and they look like something out of the Dark Crystal. Jeremy Irons' make-up is pretty cool and he gives a sort of Saruman-esque performance.

All in all, this is an eighties film made 20 years to late. I enjoyed it but don't go out of your way. Think Stargate with American Werewolf in Paris Orcs...

1 comment:

Hooliganyouth said...

I never wanted to see this and now I do. This sounds absurd enough to be a blast.

I think the Werewolf-Orcs were Morlocks.